“Etiquette Tips For Tougher Times”
Etiquette tips for tougher times
During difficult times it can be harder to muster good manners, but the way you treat people now will have ramifications in your professional and social life when the economy picks up, says image and business protocol specialist Elena Reed.
She notes that manners and professional protocols are unlikely to be at the forefront of recruiters’ minds when many are struggling to meet targets and feeling insecure about their jobs.
But, she says: “The storms will pass. The troubles will fade. It’s your personal history and professional imprint that will be remembered for years.”
Reed, of Evolutzia, provides etiquette tips for common work and social dilemmas during a downturn.
During layoffs
“Losing a job is as tough as it gets,” Reed says, but when you know a colleague is about to be laid off you shouldn’t reveal the bad news.
“Don’t be the news breaker unless it’s your direct responsibility to inform them,” she says. “On the other hand, if somebody you know has been laid off do not pretend you’re unaware. Face the inevitable by saying ‘I am sorry it happened’ and offer your help where you can.
“Don’t beat yourself up, though, if you are the one who gets to stay. That’s not your fault and there’s little you can do for others but be caring, understanding and supportive.”
On the receiving end
As tempting as it might be when you’re the one let go, you should not bad-mouth your old boss, gossip about your former colleagues or be bitter about the company you worked for.
“You don’t know where your angry words may travel to,” Reed says. “Instead, embrace the challenge and turn the disadvantage into an opportunity by staying poised and professional at all times. The sooner you move on, the more quickly some new doors will open for you.”
Don’t show off
When those around you are tightening their belts, it’s poor etiquette to boast about your new purchases, Reed says.
“Try not to tell the world about your expensive holiday (even if you’ve just returned from one), tame down the bling and designer logos (even if you can afford them) and don’t boast your latest promotion to a newly redundant friend. Sympathy goes a long way in building your personal loyalty.”
There’s no free lunch
Compared to the boom times, fewer people are rushing to pick up the bill as it hits the table.
“If your companion is averting their eyes in hope the little black book will take care of itself, be nice but firm,” Reed says. “A simple ‘would you mind splitting the bill?’ is gracefully sufficient.
“Key point: If you don’t have the funds to cover your lunch, you shouldn’t go.”
Gracefully decline invitations
If you’ve been invited to a function that you can’t afford to attend you should “definitely not pretend you’ve forgotten”.
“Honesty is always your best bet as real friends will understand your plight. You don’t need to go into full detail about your current financial situation; simply RSVP, offer your apologies for not being able to make it this time and suggest some alternative plans on another day that are more in line with your budget.”
Lend only what you can lose
Nobody should feel obliged to lend money, Reed says.
“If a person you care about asks you to help out it’s incredibly hard not to get involved, but saying ‘no’ is perfectly ok if you are under financial strain yourself.
“Don’t feel you’re letting them down. Quite the opposite – you’re maintaining the relationship long term. No one would benefit if you had to demand your loan back or cope with having less funds to live on. If you decide to go ahead, take it easy – don’t loan money you are not prepared to lose.”
Hold your tongue
Before giving any advice, think about how you feel when someone offers a view you didn’t invite, Reed says.
“Approve it or not, if someone you know is spending unreasonably, it’s none of your business, even if you just want to help. It’s their journey, their life and their money.
“As much as you would like to caution and cushion the possible negative implications for them, don’t give advice unless you are asked for it.”
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